Writes


Letters
Company Pen
Betting On Trump
How Many Toilets?
Lost Nickle
Dear Airline
Dear Senator Vasconcellos
Dear CBS
Dear Carolina Panthers
10 Questions From Americans
Dear Toys R Us...
Small On Top?
The Benjagon
Use Those Weather-Sticks
Einstein Didn’t Know His Barber Could Cook
I Want Your Clutter
Hello, Coca-Cola?
The Question About The Bill
10 Interview Questions


Dreams
Do I Own A Snake?
Fourth Is Enough
7 Year Living Room
Water Bowl
Overboard
Team 3D and The Finger
Coin Bringer
Turtle Dancing and Jell-O World
Team 3D vs. The French
Almost Spiderman
Killing The Old For Books
Closet Snake
Walking Out
Outside My Casino
Todd Took My Beer
Wednesdayding Lake
Vegas Clean Out
U.S. History Quiz in Tijuana
Uri and I vs. Lewis and Tyson
Team 3D 'Cleans' House
Shopping School
Talking to G-d in a Toy Aisle
Witness to a Dream
Bill Clinton's Pep Talk
Team 3D and the 3D Girls vs. The Purple Maori Theater Seat Thieves
North Africa vs. South Africa
Team 3D vs. The Invisible Yellow Llama -or- Zoo Island
Sparing Bonnie Hunt
Quarters for Dogs
Telling Her Off
Killing in Defense
Team 3D vs. The Ozone Blob
Mega Work Dream
Risking Life and Limb Over World War Two Germany
Pastry Bunnies
Dave and Ben vs. Ted Danson
Cory Car Club
Team 3D in New York
Yael's Book Opening Sword
Ten Foot Tall Piece of Fridayed Chicken
Web Hostage
Sky God
Team 3D vs. The Mall Wave
Nose Vines
U.F.I. Mining Town
Girls in Torture-land
Benjamin's Elevator Shaft Shower and the Golden Cross
Me, Kenn, Some Russian Guy, and Fire...
Team 3D vs. The Storm Crane
Two Dreams
Team 3D Detectives
Two Things Wrong
The Musical
A Shave and a Spot
Hawaii 500
Moving In
Japan's Crack Super Parachute Commando Squadron!

 
Use Those Weather-sticks
 
I don’t really need to set these up anymore, do I? I had a stupid idea, I sent out a bunch of letters to a bunch of unsuspecting people, and now I’m waiting for responses.

The List Of Local Television Meteorologists (i.e. victims)
KTVU KRON KPIX KGO KNTV
Bill Martin Steve Raleigh Samantha Mohr Joel Bartlett John Farley
Steve Paulson Lisa Argen Roberta Gonzales Spencer Christian Shannon O'Donnell
  Mark Danon Lawrence Karnow Sandhya Patel Nick O'Kelly
    Brian Sussman    


THE LETTER

Dear WEATHERPERSON,

I’m writing on behalf of two dozen of my closest friends. You see, I’m getting married May 4th and my bachelor party is this Saturday at Pac Bell Park. It isn’t really so much a bachelor party as stereotyped in movies and such, but pretty much just a bunch of fella’s going to a ballgame.

Just yesterday I heard that there was a chance of rain this Saturday. What I would like you to do is stop this rain, and hold it until Sunday. If you do your part and hold back this rain, I’ll do my part and cheer extra enthusiastically for my San Francisco Giants and ensure their victory over those sneaky and unfriendly Los Angeles Dodgers.

I’ve been waiting for this game, this glorious day, for over a year – and I’m not going to let some rain stop it. So, if you could, please wave that magic weather-stick they gave you when you graduated from weather-school and help me, us, out.

I thank you very much.

-Benjamin


RESPONSES

Dear Benjamin:

I will talk to my people, however they have been pretty insistent about raining out Saturday's game. I'll try and be a little more persuasive ( and perhaps do a sun dance for you). Hopefully the rain showers, if they do arrive, will be light enough to get the game in. Have a great bachelor party and good luck with the wedding.

Sincerely,

Mark Danon
Meteorologist
KRON4 News
danon@kron.com


Ben,

Timing is everything in life isn't it. You may be needing to get a rain check on this one. Chances of rain are very high on this one with amounts of a half inch expected.

Rain on your wedding day is a blessing but rain on your bachelor party game is a major disappointment.

Regards,

Sam


Dear Benjamin:

Thank you for one of the most entertaining letters I've read in 32 years in the TV news business. In fact, your e-mial is so funny that I printed copies to hand out around the newsroom. Now, let's get to your reason for writing. At the moment, it appears that we'll have more continuous, concentrated rainfall during the morning hours on Saturday; and we'll probably see lighter, more widely scattered showers in the afternoon. If that pattern holds up, I think the game will be played--although the ground may be a bit soggy. Since this is such an important occasion to you, I'll be happy to give you an update on Friday. By then, I should have a much more reliable view of what's developing for Saturday.

If you need the forecast on Friday, and you're not going to have access to your e-mail, you may call me here at the ABC-7 weather office after 3:00pm. The number is (415)954-7796.

Good Luck!

Spencer Christian


Yep it still looks like cool showers for the game.... The worst of it should be over by mid-morning. After that scattered showers and temperatures in the mid 50's. Just take jackets. Sorry...

Bill

ps congratulations......


Benjamin,

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on your upcoming marriage!

Now, about this weekend... As meteorologists, we say that we are in "sales" not "production." And I must tell you that the weather charts indicate a big weather change this weekend with some rain coming our way on Saturday However, I am going to argue with Mother Nature and do my best to conjure up some decent weather for you and the Giants on Saturday. Have fun whatever the weather.

Sunny Days,
Joel Bartlett


Benjamin,

I feel your pain/concern but I only call 'um as I see them. Since the game's at 1:05, there's a chance you'll make it through without rain. However, the consensus seems to dictate otherwise. Expect the worse, hope for the best. If it doesn't rain, thank the ETA computer model.

If it does rain, blame the GFS...not me! (weather models)

Congratulations...good luck...have fun! Sounds like a great idea for a Bachelor Party. Thanks for writing.

Steve Paulson
KTVU - Morning Weather


Dear Benjamin,

Well now, if I could do that I would be one popular meteorologist. I've had quite a few people stop me and say, 'really, it IS going to rain?' Yes, I'm afraid saturday will not only be wet but cold! If your lucky you'll get some dry times too. What are you going to do? Have a beer for me!

Lisa Argen
Meteorologist


Benjamin!

First off, congratulations! Secondly...ok, I'm going to do my best to work a little magic for you. But you have to understand, I'm in a little bit of a predicament. I actually WANT it to rain on Saturday, because it'll rain out my little boys baseball games, and then we can have our first "Do absolutely nothing day" all year! So I'll make you a deal. My kids games are at 8:00am and 9:30 am...I'll do a rain dance to rain them out....the Giants play at 1:05. I'll do my "Anti-Rain" dance and really try hard and make the rain stop by then. I can't promise any sunshine. Cool and breezy, and how about the possibility of a passing shower. And if the passing scattered showers DO happen, you guys can go wait it out in the bar. At least that's a whole lot better than a complete rain out.

Your thoughts?

By the way...I'll have an updated forecast for you on Friday..and I too, hate the dreaded Dodgers.

All The Best!
roberta gonzales


Hi Benjamin,

Sorry but I just received your email so I didn't have a chance to perform any weather magic. I hope you found some place else to celebrate your future marriage. By the way, it will likely be much better weather for your wedding day!

Take care,

Lawrence Karnow KPIX