May 16h, 2002 - 3:43pm Arguello & Geary San Francisco, CA Coronet Theater What Am I Doing
Here? How do I know it's horrible? I saw it last night. I actually don't want to be here to tell the truth, but there's friends that I'm taking into consideration, so, you know, I like to be the nice guy. The people near me are complete morons. Sure, I'm a bit hyprocritical, myself being right here in line for a 7:00pm show over three hours away, but still I don't like many of them. The pseudo-intellectuals sharing incredible tales of 'real' psychics to the right of me, and über-fans to the left of me with the original Star Wars soundtrack blaring away on a boombox, eating only Star Wars cereal and beer. At least they had the common sense to bring a cooler with something to drink and something to eat. Not me. I'm waiting for a delivery from my fiancé, and then a couple hours later, from my friends for whom I bought tickets. Dude "Dude, you should have been here last night!" "Dude, I know. I heard it was awesome." "Dude, there was this dude with a lightsaber and he was all fwoom fwoom and then this other dude was all fazoom fazoom and they were all like ksshh ksshh tsssst foom. It was sweet." "Dude. That's cool." And that's what I keep hearing, regardless of the volume of Sparklehorse directly on my ears. I have crappy headphones that don't cover my ears properly like the ones I have at work. So, I could pierce my eardrums with Sparklehorse, but the last thing I'd hear before I went deaf would be a drunken, "Dude, fwoom!" 2GKB438 The First Duel I can predict how this is going to turn out. The older fella who's either unemployed, living with his mother, or both is going to get whacked in the leg pretty strongly by the kid, and then he's going to get pissed off. Then, when his rage has subsided just enough, and his vision's cleared, he's going to crack the kid in the head, straight through a defensively positioned, cheaply made, plastic lightsaber. And I was right. Now the kid went crying to his big brother, who's now moving towards the wannabe-Jedi. There's a conversation, there's an apology, and it's over. Stupid people. People With Cel
Phones Guess where this is going to end up. You got it, she's going to pull the whole, "I'm waving. Can you see me waving? I'm waving," routine. She could have just told her friend, who's apparently parking the car, that she's standing just next to the first exit staircase against the side of the theater. She could have said that she's standing next to a guy typing away into his laptop. She could have said something about being next to the only blue car, a Pontiac, in the parking lot. But no. She's going to engage in the whole wave and dance routine to the dismay of everyone near her. Dog Door People With Cel
Phones Part II Where Are My Friends? Idan told me he'd wait with me all day today, but after finding out his true plans earlier today, he's going to show between 4:30 and 5:00. Rob's coming with his friend between 5:45 and 6:00. Buddah said he'd be here by now, but I haven't seen him. I should have called. But Lisa's going to be here shortly with a fresh supply, my only supply, of drinks and snacks. I love her so much. She's a normal, intelligent, hard working woman. Beautiful through and through. Yet, for whatever reason, she's chosen to love me and all my idiotic Star Wars waiting quirks. So help me I'm never going to do anything to ever upset her. I've hit the jackpot with this one. More People, More
Wind Unarmed "Buddy," I tell him, "take off. I'm busy here, ok?" He waves his hand mystically and says, "You're not busy." "Yes I am." "You want to give up your spot in line to me." "No I don't. Now go away." He backs away, and then moves his threats onto someone else. It's a bit too windy and too unsteady a climate to do battle with this moron anyway. Why can't people just commit to a battle of wits anymore? Hmmm? I'd leave a wake of dumbfounded losers everywhere I went, save a few here and there. "Separatist!" "Academic juvenile!" "Draw!" "What the square root of 144? Quick!" "Um..." "Twelve, you idiot." Man, I can taste the cerebral blood now. Mmm... Thirsty All Alone It used to be so simple, you know? So simple. Good versus Evil. It never got more complex than that. Ever. And since it was so simple a construct, it was possible for George Lucas to write the story. There weren't any other teams. There were a couple little tidbits of information gathering on the sidelines, but as a whole, there were never more than two teams. Now, George Lucas thinks that because he's got a bigger budget and fancier cameras, he can branch out and get political. This man's grasp of the political realm is worse than mine, and that's saying something. Instead of good and bad, there's the Republic, there's Separatists, there's Jedis, bad Jedis, Sith, two kinds of armies, a Trade Federation, etc... It's confusing as all hell. Oy. But still, I sit here and I wait, all alone, so that my 'friends' can show up at the last minute to receive their newest Star Wars punishment. I could use someone to talk to, I think. It would be really nice. Writing all this rambling's fun and all, I actually really enjoy it, but still. I could use someone here - if only for a quick bite and drink. Round Table A couple 'camps' over to the right, there's an orgy of pizza eating going on. Cheese, pepporoni, veggie, combo, and garlic bread sticks. To wash it all down, sodas from every color of the rainbow. I'm hungry. Where's Lisa? Sweet Revenge It reminds me of another time, back in February, when I went to a friend's wedding. There was a kid I grew up with. We were really good pals. Steven Weiss. When we both got into Middle School, we were both pretty unpopular. Nobody liked us much. And then, one typical lunch where we were sitting by ourselves waiting to get picked on and for our food to get thrown at us, something happened. When the usual assortment of jerk/bully kids approached and started picking on me first, instead of defending his only buddy, Steven took a gamble, and started to rip into me too. I was shocked, I was in tears, and I couldn't believe what had just happened. His gamble worked, and he became increasingly popular as the rest of our tenure in Middle School lasted. I never saw him again after we finished that school, but the scars ran deep. At the wedding in February I saw him. Bald. But not in a good way. I think that going bald is a fine thing. Should it ever happen to me, I'd live with it and that's that. But he's a fan of the combover. What an idiot. He's an idiot, and now he officially LOOKS like an idiot. I don't, nor will I ever, wish him any harm. But as I ran my fingers through my thick head of hair, I thought about how I've never put suntan lotion on my scalp. Masquerade What makes it even better is that the closest of the costumed loony's is hideous. For whatever reason, my friends and I take pleasure from below-par entertainment. The more cheaply made it is, the better it is. And the outfit closest to me, directly to my right, is right in line with my sense of humor. A woman with nothing to push up, wearing a push up bra. Hair braided and pulled back and around her head. Refelctive coin-like plastic pieces tied around and over her forehead. A semi-translucent shawl and ugly black dress with a sequence pattern swirling around and around. It doesn't sound that bad looking back on what I've written, but trust me, you have to take my word for this. It's not flattering. Aside from that, there's been a few more arrivals of the basic 'cloak and saber' combo-set, but other than that, it's mild still. Give it another hour. Call Forwarding She told me that she was going to set up her phone to forward calls to my phone on account of the fact that she was going to A) be with me in line, and B) her battery was near dead. However, I didn't think she was going to do that until she got here. She's not here yet, I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, and when I call her I'm in a sense calling myself so I get my own voicemail message. And that's that. I'm stuck. I could call Dave at work, but I don't know the number. I could call Adina, but she's on her way home from work now, or at least, I think she is. Idan had better get here, and get here quick or I'm going to castrate him. Buddah's not here, and that's hardly any kind of important information on account of the fact that I can't call him anyway (don't know his number). News Flash Speaking of Lisa, she too just called, and she's back at my place - setting up her phone to forward to mine. Her phone was so dead, she couldn't even keep it on long enough to set it up to forward to mine. Since my place is on the way to where I am now, she stopped in to plug her phone into the wall, then set it up, and she's on her way now with snacks, drinks, and a blanket. I think I want the blanket more than the drinks or food. It's getting too cold now. Definition of Obnoxious News Flash Part
II Inconsiderate pricks are rampant throughout this line. But that's a good thing, because if I get used to being annoyed now, then the movie might not bother me so much, seeing as how I'm already pre-annoyed. It's Looped My only goal right now is Comfort and Center. I want a comfortable seat to sit in for three hours, you know, to relax from all the sitting I've been doing thus far. And, I want a center seat. As close to center as possible, just so that I don't get any weird 'one side is bigger than the other' effect. Also, I'm looking for four seats. Just four. For Lisa and myself, and for Dave and Adine. Everyone else fends for themselves. Battery Low It Was Better? Was it better than waiting in line? Nope. In the theater, my seat was constantly getting kicked and shoved by the person behind me. I couldn't lean back because the person behind me didn't like it. So, before the movie was over, my back was killing me because I was sitting in an awkward fashion so as not to bother my neighbor to the rear. Sitting outside, however, nobody kicked me. I was annoyed by the people I was in line with, and in the theater I was annoyed with the pathetic dialogue and the pathetic acting that framed it. But at least outside, nobody was kicking me. |
