I was at work this morning, when my boss walked into the office and said, "do as much work as you can, then we’re leaving here at 1:00 to catch the 2:10 showing of Star Wars at the Metreon. On the house." We were thrilled. We all worked quite busily after that point, and by work I mean we emailed and called as many friends as we could to tell them of our great fortune. A day lobbed in half to accommodate a field trip to a movie. Most of us were ready to leave at 1:00, but, as usual when there’s a group of people, there were a few people that had last minute papers to deliver, restroom stops to attend to, and some just couldn’t get off the phone. By 1:30 the lot of us were underway, deep into downtown San Francisco. Thanks to the delays of the few in leaving the office, the seating availability for everyone had to suffer. With little more than ten minutes before the lights went down, we all pretty much settled into the second row from the front, all the way to the left. A few grunts and sneers were sent to those that made us late, but immediately thereafter the realization that it was 2:00pm on a Monday and we were in a movie theater settled in. I looked at my watch, and saw that it was 2:00. The movie started at 2:10, so that meant there was plenty of time to run and grab some snacks. "Aaron, I’m going. What do you want?" "Hot Tamales." "Mary?" "Popcorn!" "Caroline?" "Bottle of water?" With that I hauled out of my row, and out the theater. I made a hard right out the main double doors, down the hallway, and a right out into the lobby where food was being sold. There were three lines, each equally long, each with an equal number of parties waiting to pay too much for food, and I was suddenly put into a guessing game. "They’re equal lines, but which one’s moving ‘faster’?" I asked myself. Which one indeed? I took a deep breath and committed to the middle line. And in the middle line I waited. And I waited. And I waited. And I grew angry as the two kids at the head of the line, once at the counter, flagged over their four friends who were waiting off to the side somewhere. The line to the right of me was in a similar situation, and the line to the left of me was moving relatively quickly. I checked my watch. 2:05. I’ve five minutes left and I haven’t moved a step. This needs to be resolved quickly. There were two people in the line to the left of me, on was ordering, and another was waiting. There were four people ahead of me, and I couldn’t commit to the line any longer. I pulled off a couple side steps, and voila, I’m third in line in the line to the left. But then humanitarian decency chose to shine. The gentleman ahead of me, who by first thought just looked like a somewhat short and stocky thug with a shaved head and scar over his left eyebrow, turned and said, "go ahead of me." "What?" "You’ve been waiting longer than me, your line’s moving slow, go ahead of me." "That’s very kind of you, but no. Thanks, but you go right ahead." "I insist. Please. Go ahead." "Ok, thank you very much." The gentleman ahead of us was beginning to pay, so I turned to my new friend and asked, "What are you ordering?" "Huh?" "What are you ordering?" "Bon-bon’s." I found that VERY odd, a little gangster-esque fellow wanting bon-bon’s, yet still if that’s what he wants. "I’m buying you your bon-bon’s." "You don’t have to do that." "You were nice enough to let me in line, I’m buying you bon-bon’s." "No, man, that’s ok." "I’m buying you bon-bon’s, and if you argue with me, I’m buying you two bon-bon’s." "Ok, man, if you insist." "I insist." The gentleman ahead of me paid and left, I stepped up and the first thing I ordered was bon-bon’s. As soon as I got them, I handed them to the man who let me in line, shook his hand in thanks, and he ran off to his movie. I felt good. I felt happy. A citizen helped me, and I helped him right back. Generosity is a wondrous feeling. If ever I was going to get some of that cosmic ‘karma’, this was the time. Full of excitement for life, I leaned in and placed the rest of my order. "Hot Tamales, bottle of water, ICEE, and some popcorn please." "Um, we don’t have any Hot Tamales." "That’s ok. Red Vines instead please." "We don’t have bottled water." "Fine. Just the rest then." "We don’t have anymore lids for ICEE’s or scoop-straws." "Do you have popcorn? Tell me you have popcorn." "We have popcorn." "Ok, fine. Red Vines, popcorn, and a Cherry Coke." I got what I finally ordered, paid, and hurried back to an already dark and movie-trailer immersed theater. I stumbled back to my seat, threw the Red Vines at Aaron, handed the popcorn to Mary, and apologized to Caroline about there not being any bottled water - but she could share the Cherry Coke with me. Speaking of the Cherry Coke, I took a sip and lowered my head in anger. There wasn’t any flavor - no syrup that made the sweet soda sweet. Just bland, horribly bland seltzer water with barely a ghost of flavor. I couldn’t be angrier. When’s my karma coming into play? When do I cash in one bon-bon’s worth of karma points? Anyone? Regardless, I sat in my seat, twisted to the right just a bit so I could see the middle of the screen, head tilted back so I could somehow fool myself into believing that I had a good seat. My ass and my back began to hurt immediately from my contortionist style of sitting. About ten minutes into the movie I started to remember why I didn’t care for it. Twenty minutes in I began to remember why I started to like it. And that’s how it played out. A pendulum of emotions ranging from hate to like, swinging back and forth from character to character, scene to scene, plot twist to plot twist. A pivotal scene in the movie just finished. This is the point of no return. This is when something so incredibly traumatic happens, you as the viewer are permanently glued for another hour or so, watching this iffy movie steamroll into powerful movie history. I paid the price to watch the good second half of the movie by sitting through the droll first half. I was ready. I was committed. I was ignoring my twisted back pain, and I was fully ready to watch the much-fabled Clone Wars of the Star Wars Universe begin. Then the sound from the film went silent and lights flashed all about the theater. A ‘woop woop’ blared through the room, and a voice filtered into the air from a PA system informing everyone to leave by the stairs, and not by the elevators. Great. Some karma. Everything I wanted to order was gone, and I was rewarded with shrills and mild panic for silently putting up with the first (bad) half of movie in the most uncomfortable and awkward seats in the house. The upside is that I just need to keep my ticket stub to come back and see it again for free. The bonus to that upside is that my manager and his manager friends all agreed to let us leave work early again tomorrow to see the movie properly. The downside, however, is that I’ll have to sit through the first half of the movie twice in order to see the second, better half but once. I’m going to be in this sort of limbo for a very, very, very long time. Such a long time that I’ll get a headache just thinking about this imbalance until November, six months from now, when this movie comes out on DVD. Only then will I be able to rent it and start the movie precisely where I was left off today. |
