Writes Letters Company Pen Betting On Trump How Many Toilets? Lost Nickle Dear Airline Dear Senator Vasconcellos Dear CBS Dear Carolina Panthers 10 Questions From Americans Dear Toys R Us... Small On Top? The Benjagon Use Those Weather-Sticks Einstein Didn’t Know His Barber Could Cook I Want Your Clutter Hello, Coca-Cola? The Question About The Bill 10 Interview Questions Dreams Do I Own A Snake? Fourth Is Enough 7 Year Living Room Water Bowl Overboard Team 3D and The Finger Coin Bringer Turtle Dancing and Jell-O World Team 3D vs. The French Almost Spiderman Killing The Old For Books Closet Snake Walking Out Outside My Casino Todd Took My Beer Wednesdayding Lake Vegas Clean Out U.S. History Quiz in Tijuana Uri and I vs. Lewis and Tyson Team 3D 'Cleans' House Shopping School Talking to G-d in a Toy Aisle Witness to a Dream Bill Clinton's Pep Talk Team 3D and the 3D Girls vs. The Purple Maori Theater Seat Thieves North Africa vs. South Africa Team 3D vs. The Invisible Yellow Llama -or- Zoo Island Sparing Bonnie Hunt Quarters for Dogs Telling Her Off Killing in Defense Team 3D vs. The Ozone Blob Mega Work Dream Risking Life and Limb Over World War Two Germany Pastry Bunnies Dave and Ben vs. Ted Danson Cory Car Club Team 3D in New York Yael's Book Opening Sword Ten Foot Tall Piece of Fridayed Chicken Web Hostage Sky God Team 3D vs. The Mall Wave Nose Vines U.F.I. Mining Town Girls in Torture-land Benjamin's Elevator Shaft Shower and the Golden Cross Me, Kenn, Some Russian Guy, and Fire... Team 3D vs. The Storm Crane Two Dreams Team 3D Detectives Two Things Wrong The Musical A Shave and a Spot Hawaii 500 Moving In Japan's Crack Super Parachute Commando Squadron!

FORTUNE COOKIE   I wish I was in charge of writing fortune cookies.   Either the cold of space or the heat of reentry will kill you. Think again.       Now that you're done eating I guess it's ok to tell you. You waiter pissed in your soup.       As soon as you leave the restaraunt, a misguided sattellite will break orbit, fall to the earth, and kill you.       I knew you were going to read this. I also know that your wife's shtooping the mailman right now.       *gasp* THANK YOU *gasp* I'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN THIS COOKIE *gasp* FOR THREE MONTHS *gasp*       Knock next time! KNOCK!       Hey, asshole, how would you like it if someone cracked YOUR house in half?       Yes, it's possible. Not recommended, but possible.       The world could end tomorrow and you may die. Have a nice day.       Take your barber to court.       One bullet's enough.       Keeping me in your wallet will NOT make me come true.       It's not ok, it doesn't happen to other guys, and it does matter.       6% of what you just ate was actually food.      And here's a few from my pal Aaron.   Dont paint your house, it'll be gone by next tuesday.       By the way: That wasn't pork.       You ever wonder why your wife keeps her cell phone set to 'vibrate'?       FOX is a cheap and effective alternative to pornography.       You will put me in your shirt pocket, forget about me, and I shall be doomed to die in the washing machine.       You will never have another orgasm as long as you live.