Just let me think… Hmmm… Well, there were a series of revelations that I had. 1 – I don’t even have to see it… When I just close my eyes and picture Maverick out there in the Pacific, Goose’s dead body held close to his chest as they floated there in the midst of blue waves and an endless trail of the fluorescent green crap that helps search-and-rescue teams find them, wow, I just cry like a baby. 2 – The big question on my mind the other day while looking at a map of Argentina, “Do the people in the Southern Hemisphere use upside-down versions of ‘our’ maps, or do they just accept that they’re at the bottom and use the same maps as us?” 3 – I am, or at least I must be, the smartest person alive for I, and only I, have the keen sense and radically advanced mental abilities to comprehend the simple fact that the people IN the elevator need to come OUT of the elevator if the pushy people OUTSIDE the elevator want room to come IN. 4 – I am smarter than my best friend and brother, Dave, for the simple fact that my brain is, in fact, physically larger than his. My brain is large enough that it can retain precisely one more ‘thing’ than Dave’s, and that one ‘thing’ that I know, that he doesn’t, is that I know my brain is big enough to know one more thing than Dave’s. 5 – Five dollars, of the millions upon millions of dollars won just last night in the California State Lottery by someone other than me, were once mine. Had I won the lottery last night, I wouldn’t have really won the 30 million dollars; instead, I’d have just been given my five bucks back with a nice bonus on the side. And that’s pretty much it. Those were the big thoughts/observations of the past few weeks. Granted, there’s the hourly thought that I’m the luckiest guy in the world with respects to my gorgeous and loving wife and all the happiness she brings into my life, but that’s more, you know, for me. I’m talking profound thoughts. Big thoughts. The kind of funny crap that you’d forward to your buddies in an email. Think about it, you get an email from your friend Joe that says, “You’ve got to read this,” and when you do read it it’s all about how much some guy loves his wife. I’d be pissed at my ‘friend’ Joe as much as you. But, let’s just hypothesize for a moment that Joe isn’t the kind of sentimental email-forwarding jackass we all know he is, and he sends you, instead, something to think about like, oh, I don’t know, the kinds of maps commonly used by Argentineans. Now THAT’S funny. |
