 Dear CASINO,I was in Las Vegas for most of last week and had a fabulous time dining and gambling at nearly every dining and gambling establishment on your fabulous ‘Strip’. As I stopped here and there to place a wager while making my way from buffet to buffet to buffet, I noticed something I never really noticed before – you’re still in practice of using standard, old fashioned, archaic rectangular playing cards. How 1900’s! Being a casino of such immeasurable wealth as you most certainly are, I’m sure you’ve scores of people on your staff whose sole responsibilities it is to keep an eye out on the Gaming Industry’s constant bubbling of new inventions. It’s on this level that I inquire – have you not seen the wonders of the octagonal playing card? It’s relatively round, as each of its eight sides are equal to one another, but it’s playability as a poker or even a blackjack card is through the roof. You’re in luck, however, since I see that you’ve as yet to adopt the new playing card of the millennium, for I’ve already taken the next creative leap forward. You’re probably thinking that your current playing cards are four sided, the newest incarnation is eight sided, so the next creative leap must be 12 sided (or at the very least 16). No! I’ve developed it myself, and even perfected a few shuffling and dealing tricks with my new, patented, SEVEN sided playing card – the shape of which I’ve named the Benjagon after me. The Benjagon is very much like the very new industry standard octagon playing card, save that two of the octagon’s sides were merged into one, longer side, leaving the other six sides in place (I’ve included a diagram to explain it further). The Benjagon’s long side provides ample reading room for the player to see his cards, yet the curvature of the entire card is such that concealing one’s cards is now even easier. The benefits of the Benjagonial playing cards doesn’t stop there. The issuance and use of the Benjagon card would instantly cut down, if not eliminate, cheating. People who come into your casino with ‘classic’ rectangular cards will be stunned to see slipping theirs cards into a Benjagonial desk is futile. With new shaped cards comes new card holding, reading, dealing and shuffling techniques – which means even more that Mr. Joe Cheater has to contend with. Looking at the basic Benjagonial playing card, I’m sure you can see its potential for a second ‘crescent’ version (patent pending) which offers, on top of everything else, a kind of boomerang dealing action that will not only give the dealer a new, frightening level of control, but one hell of a show as well for the players. Take into consideration these new shaped cards. Don’t get stuck with octagonal cards like everyone else! The Benjagon, my good friends, is the wave of the future!
Sincerely, Ps – your evening buffet was terrific! The coffee was a bit cold, but otherwise I’d have to say it was gourmet! |
