When my sister married my best friend, the only weird part about it was looking at Dave’s (my best friend’s) hand. All of a sudden, when I go out to a movie with Dave or grab a pizza or something, there’s me, Dave, and jewelry. Dave wearing a ring? It’s like me wearing a dress. It just didn’t fit. I’m not kidding. I’d look at Dave’s hand instead of looking him in the eye. Now that I’m married and I’m wearing a ring, I’m STILL not used to looking at Dave’s hand even though I’m wearing a wedding band too. Anyway, moving along, after Dave and Adina were married, aside from Dave’s ring, I still thought of them as I’ve always thought of them – the two greatest people on earth. Both of them loving, both of them fun, both of them my greatest friends. However, now that there was the minor addition of a couple little rings, they were invited to a party and Lisa and I, even though engaged, were not. Friends of my parents’ throw an annual party. A nice, elderly couple, put on one hell of a show once a year and invite only married couples. So, Dave and Adina, two people whom I’ve always viewed as my equals, were somehow elevated just a ‘little bit’. I’m not mad, I’m not jealous, and I don’t even feel excluded. I’m just confused. What kind of power is in that ring on Dave’s hand? Is there some kind of unspoken ranking system in place in society that everyone’s careful not to inform the unmarried? Another funny thing is the married cousins. I see and speak with and even hang out with the cousins on my side of the family actually quite often. Everything’s great and open and friendly. The cousin’s on Lisa’s side of the family, however, are many and don’t really hang out together as often as she would like. At the wedding yesterday, though, they were everywhere, “We should get together,” and “It’s great you’re married now. We should go out to dinner.” All of a sudden, now that my left hand is a few grams heavier, I’m Mr. Center Of Attention. I’ve always been a loud mouthed braggart, thinking my jokes were always funnier, my stories always more entertaining, and my mannerisms always more interesting. But now, my left ring finger ringed, I’m part of the ‘in club’. My gorgeous bride, now my lovely and perfect wife, put together a sign-in book for our guests to leave little friendly notes in. “Welcome aboard,” “Welcome to the ‘cool club’,” and “You’re in” are some of the phrases that filled our pages. What club? What’s ‘in’ mean? Where am I going? What code are these people speaking? Now that I’ve had a day to think about it – and believe me I’ve been thinking about it – I think I know what the common bond is amongst all married people. Pain. Planning a wedding, especially one of this incredible magnitude, doesn’t happen easily. Planning invitations, food, drinks, favors, programs, cake, seating, music, and flowers – enough to accommodate 320+ people – isn’t the easiest thing in the world. One family has one, long-followed concept of what, say, a good meal is, and the other family has its own concept. Finding the middle ground is the rocky part. Within no time, Lisa and I found ourselves killing each other trying to please all the people all the time. All that agony is something all those married people, who suddenly find Lisa and I to be interesting people to socialize with, went through. All of it. And what do they want to do when they finally hang out with us? I’ll tell you – swap wedding planning horror stories. How would that swapping of stories pan out? Oh, that’s easy. Imagine a square table in a restaurant. Now place the girls next to each other and fella’s next to each other. The girls will go on and on with comments like, “Oh my G-d, my parents did that too!,” and “You too? I thought WE were the only ones…” Meanwhile, the guys are sitting there saying things like, “This steak reminds me of another steak I had in this steak joint this one time…” Ok then, my wife’s written enough thank-you cards for one evening, it’s past 1:00 am, and time for bed. Even though only one day’s sped by, married life is definitely worth it – every bit. |
