As we were about to head out, we noticed that there wasn't any ice and, being the sport that I am, I hopped across the street to get some. Our story begins. I searched the market for bags of ice, but there was none to be found. Unable to find it on my own, and unable to find any employees in the aisles, I simply went up to the only cashier that was working, and got in line. There was a couple ahead of me counting off food stamps and coupons as they paid. As I was waiting in line, counting the food stamps along with the couple ahead of me and the cashier (it was all laid out on the counter ahead of me and my height gave me one hell of a vantage point), an older, short, Russian woman literally pushes me out of her way and steps in front of me in line. Now, I was raised properly by my parents, (good job mom and dad!) and I'm always ready to step aside and let my elders ahead of me in line, especially if they have something simple like just one bunch of flowers, as this woman had. But this woman shoved me, expecting me to just stand aside and let her have her way. "Excuse me," I said to the woman, "but you just cut in front of me." I really wanted to say something along the lines of, "What the hell is your problem, lady!? Get behind me before I kick you in the stomach." But I didn't say that. Mom and dad made a gentleman, not a thug. Well, just read on. "But I have this only one flowers," she says in her broken English and thick accent. Now, if I was waiting to purchase two candy bars, and an elderly lady just wanted to buy one, I would let her go ahead of me. It's just common courtesy. However, in this particular place and time I happened to have less than this (rude) lady's one item. Logic, math, and the basic laws of shopping etiquette dictate that I need not move. "But I have only nothing," I tell her, "now get into the back of the line." "But..." "Back of the line!" The cashier takes a moment to look up and smile in acknowledgement of the situation. The couple keeps getting closer to finish counting their coupons and stamps, but never seem to finish. I hear the woman stewing about behind me, but I manage to ignore her until a tap, tap, tap lands on my shoulder. It was her husband looking just as mad as her, "Excuse me. Why did you hit my wife?" "I didn't hit your wife." "Why did you push her?" "I didn't lay a hand on her." Not wanting to have to deal with these two morons any further, and having now lost all patience for the couple ahead of me due to the pressing invasion of space personified by Mr. and Mrs. Rude directly behind me, I put the palm of my hand up to the husband's face in a 'shut up' kind of motion, lean over the spread of coupons and stamps and ask the cashier, "I'm sorry, but where's you bags of ice?" "At the deli, sir." I stand up, turn around towards the Idiot Twins, and as I begin to make my way to the deli just behind and to the left of them, I shove the woman out of my way (no harder, but no lighter, than she did to me), yes in front of her husband, and make my way to the deli. So, all you old folks out there that are reading this, I want you to know something - we (the young) are willing to step aside IF YOU DESERVE IT. Hell, we might even give you the front of the line privilege even if we're not carrying anything. But if you push us, we'll push your geriatric, decaying bones into the tabloids magazine rack. YOU GOT THAT!? |
