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Who the hell
are these people? I'm futzing around on the internet, and I found
myself at the Internet Movie
Database. I was looking up the artwork for Mars Attacks to write
something for another part of this site, and there was an ad for a
slideshow from the MTV Music Awards. Don't even get me started on
MTV. I loath MTV beyond all human reason. But that's a vent that's
soon to come. In looking through these photos, I found that I had
no idea who most of the people were. Some of the people I saw, the
one's I sucked down and spat out on this page you're reading now,
were not only complete and total 'nobody's' to me, but they had two,
three, sometimes four photos each. Only severely popular people get
that much press, right?
And then it
hit me, "I'm old." I've completely lost touch with the
'younger generation'. My roommates like MTV, and they watch MTV's
hideous barrage of moronic TV Show Lineups day in and day out. Maybe
they've found the reset button the recesses of their brains responsible
for higher learning and thought? Maybe they just get drunk enough
in order to withstand the lunacy of such drool-inducing hideousness
like MTV Cribs, Beach Party, Real World, and the never-ending spewing
of Road Rules vs. Real World Reunion 2001 reruns.
But still, enough
about Music Television's (MTV's) lack of actually playing music
like they did once before in a far away land called The 80's. Someone,
please, tell me, who the hell are these people? I'm looking through
the entrance shots of all these people to the most ridiculous and
unrespected awards show in all the world. I see shots of teenagers
and some people in their early 20's reaching desperately over barricades
and each other just to shake hands, even get a touch of, these people
whom I've never seen before.
Have I just
not been paying attention to important/popular Hollywood culture?
Have I been in a kind of entertainment coma from which I have just
know awoken? I mean, just look at these people. So young and beautiful
(mostly), and all of them ALL OF THEM, guaranteed, are making much,
much, much more money than me. For doing what, I don't know, but
they're raking in huge cash. For what? For wearing ridiculoius sunglasses
and very little and loose clothing? I could do that. I wouldn't
be appealing to look at, but I could do it.
Seriously, who
are these people? I've never seen them before. I don't even know
their names. The lot of them are most likely in movies or the lead
singers on records that have been platinum for quite some time now.
They live like kings and queens in lush homes capping Cul DeSacs
of streets named Court, Road, and Drive. They probably have cars
for regular, every day errands, and then a nicer one for going out
at night, and a third just for the weekends.
There used to
be a time when I knew the name and history behind every single face
I saw on MTV. I was looking forward to seeing their next music video,
I knew the VJs, and, well, it was a simpler time. But now, I'm so
out of the loop I must look like some kind of 'grown up' to the
acne ridden, premature ejaculating, squeaky voiced, prepubesacent
hoards that fasten themselves to their television for the few waking
hours left free to them in the day after shool and homework.
I see these
children everywhere I go, and I pray that I was never like them.
I pray that, in some way, I was more sophisticated, if even by the
smallest fraction, than the mindless masses of hormones that we're
damned to have lead us thirty years from now. People that know who
these soon-to-be-has-beens are, are going to become our presidents
and governors, and then dig up these has-beens and invite them over
to some freakish gala-event my tax dollars are going to pay for.
Oy vey, are
you reading what I'm writing. Seriously reading? Have I lost my
tiny little mind? Are these the random rantings of someone evolving
into an actual (on no) adult? I already can't stand the 'music'
kids listen to these days, I already think they dress like sluts
and trash, but now I'm coming down on their celebrities as well.
Next thing you know I'll be telling people to slow down on the freeway,
use belts to hold my pants up and over my stomach, and drink prune-juice
by the gallon.
Someone help
me.
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