| In the checkout line
of our nearest Albertson's, Lisa and I were tired and eager only to pay,
leave, and go home with our oranges (and other items, but it's the oranges
we're focusing on).
The person ahead
of us was paid and bagged and heading off with her new belongings, and
Martha the check-out clerk greeted us with, "Hello. Having a good evening?"
"Just fine," I said.
One item after another
was being scanned through, and sniffling Lisa (she was in the midst of
a cold, hence the health-bringing oranges) was just patiently waiting
for the four oranges she picked out to be hers.
Milk.
Bologna.
Fish sticks.
(almost there)
Four Cheeses Pizza.
French bread.
Tupperware.
(finally)
Oranges.
"You ready for this?"
Martha advised, as she was just about to scan through Lisa orange fruits
of salvation.
"What?" I asked.
She scanned them,
"Four twenty nine."
"What? I don't get
what's going on."
Lisa just started
silently at her oranges, aside from her slow but constant stream of sniffles.
"These are oranges
imported from Australia," she goes on, "but I don't believe in charging
people that much for oranges."
"Huh? What?"
"Don't mind him,"
Lisa chimes in, "he just got confused.
She was right, actually,
I was instantly stupefied just then. I had no idea what was going on -
just one of those random spots in time when you're taken completely off
guard. "What the hell does Australia have to do with tupperware?" I thought.
You see, the tupperware
was scanned just before the oranges, and, the tupperware was the only
thing that I picked out on my own. So, therefore, if something was to
go wrong at the checkout stand, it was going to be the Tupperware because
I was the one that picked it out.
"Nothing's wrong
with the tupperware," Lisa consoled, "we just picked out Australian oranges
by accident."
"Really? I'm going
to eat imported oranges?"
"Uh huh."
"I'm going to eat
imported oranges from Australia!"
"You do realize he's
going to be talking about this all night," Lisa joked with the cashier.
"Hey Lisa," my ranting
began, "I wonder if Paul Hogan ever ate these oranges?"
"Paul who?"
"Crocodile Dundee!
'That's not a knife!'"
Lisa, to the checkout
girl once more, "you see?"
"I'm going to pack
these oranges next time I go on walkabout! I'm even going to throw them
on the barbie! OOH! I'll call them Paul Hoganges!"
"Oh Benjamin…"
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