Registered: Oct 2004
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 31

Kenn is my best friend

I used to be roommates with Kenn, the creator of this show, and to this day we're still the best of friends.

Who wants to touch me?

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Registered: Aug 2004
Location: ID. 123
Posts: 268

quote:

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Originally posted by bensmash
Who wants to touch me?

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Registered: Oct 2004
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 31

No need to be rude...

I'm just trying to rocket to mini-celebrity status in this forum, and Kenn's my meal-ticket.

Yessir, the fact that I celebrate birthdays and speak with him daily makes me best friends with the man - and that means I kind of out rank just about everyone else in here.

So get on my good side now, or pretty soon you'll be serving me the "large french fries of apologies" in this the "McDonald's of message boards."

BOOYAH!

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Registered: Jul 2003
Location: I live in a place called downtown Downton
Posts: 1689

Please, provide some proof before you start bragging your brains out.

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Registered: Oct 2004
Location: The Little Land of Happiness, Lollipops, Rainbows and emotionally troubled war veterans
Posts: 672

[Silence]

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Registered: Oct 2004
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 31

Proof you ask!?

I have oodles of proof. Barrels of proof. So much proof I'm going broke paying rent for a place large enough dedicated to storing proof of my friendship with Kenn.

Kenn, by the way, is mighty. Can't forget to mention Kenn's mightiness.

Now what proof would you like for me to deliver that would put aside any doubts of my intensely close friendship with Kenn?

I only want to deliver the highest quality proof. I need to quickly establish my rank in this forum, a position that highly outranks yours based solely on my friendship with Kenn, the creator of HTF.

Whatcha' want?

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Registered: Jul 2003
Location: I live in a place called downtown Downton
Posts: 1689

anything. throw it at me. if you can prove it, then ill give you some...stuff O_o

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Registered: Oct 2004
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 31

You wanted the proof? You can't handle the proof!

Here's your proof - photo from the day I got married. Kenn's one of my groomsmen as you can see.

I bought him a hotdog that day. He ate the hotdog. All those other guys in the picture? I bought them hotdogs that day too. They cost me three bucks a pop from a street vendor just down the street from where this photo was shot. That's seven hotdogs all together (including one for myself). Twenty-one bucks total. I put mustard and ketchup on mine, and gave a couple bites of it to my fiance (who became my wife about an hour later). It was good.

Quick question. How many of you people have bought Kenn a hotdog? Let me guess.... None? Yeah, that's right. NONE. I bought him one. And that's not all. I've MADE him hotdogs at my house, and back at the apartment we used to live at, and even before then when we went to school together.

Did I mention that I went to school with Kenn? I sure did. COLLEGE BABY. Degree, right here!

...and Kenn is mighty.

TRIPLE RIPPLE BOOYAH!

bensmash has attached this image:

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Registered: Oct 2004
Location: The Little Land of Happiness, Lollipops, Rainbows and emotionally troubled war veterans
Posts: 672

Who the hell is this guy?

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Registered: Jun 2004
Location:
Posts: 46

Um... I disavow any knowledge of any touching or heavy petting that went on during the course of my collegiate career with any of my former roommates… however, I did receive said hot dog from said individual the day off said individual’s engagement to said fiancée (now, said wife). By the way, I highly recommend using a rubber glove or some other non-permeable material before any contact with any other individual. You never know where they’ve been!

-Kenn

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Registered: Jul 2003
Location: I live in a place called downtown Downton
Posts: 1689

thankyou. that is all i asked. *gives the dude some stuff* i made a deal :P

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Registered: Aug 2003
Location: Salamandastron
Posts: 1400

My best friend is the bottle.

Thank you for asking. Now, fetch me spirits!

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Registered: Oct 2004
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 31

What'd I tell ya' What'd I tell ya'

See? I bought the man a hotdog.

AND YOU DOUBTED MY SUPERIORITY OVER YOU LOWER MESSAGE POSTERS!?

Now that I've proven that I outrank you all, show me the respect.

Once, Kenn was in deperate search for a Pikachu toy spoke with lit-up cheeks when you touched the light sensons underneath it. Kenn couldn't find it, but I went with him from store to store. It wasn't until, as a very last effort, we found them in K-Mart in Colma, CA. We bought them and we played with them immediately because they were packaged WITH THE BATTERIES INCLUDED!

BATTERIES INCLUDED, BITCHES, BATTERIES INCLUDED!

You thought Pikachu was all about magic and electricity and lightning and crap like that. WRONG.

It's batteries.

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Registered: Aug 2003
Location: Salamandastron
Posts: 1400

Wow. You are my hero. May I touch you now?

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Registered: Oct 2004
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 31

Be Gentle

Yes, you may touch me now. You may all touch me. It will be a huge touch-the-smash event. Bring the family.

But, please, be gentle. Use your good decision making skills when choosing where to touch me and how roughly.

Kenn's touched me many-a-time, but I didn't give him all this 'decision making' crap in advance like I do to you people. You're strangers, so that means I can't take candy from you or let you in my house or get in your car.

I drove Kenn's car once. I didn't fit because I'm much bigger than he is. His car has a table built right in. I like tables - it both keeps my food closer to my mouth AND keeps me from dribbling on the floor.

Kenn is mighty mighty.

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